Jody: No. He was an older doctor with a good reputation who was harried because the clinic had double-booked his patients just as he was trying to leave for vacation. That is no excuse, frankly, but it was a mediating factor in my decision not to pursue a malpractice suit. I had to think of all the things he had likely done right over a long medical career, and to believe that he learned from his mistake with me and be far more discerning in the future. Also, I didn't believe that whatever time I might have left (I was late-stage cancer by the time I was diagnosed) - I didn't think that time would be well spent in a negative pursuit or in meetings with attorneys. Whatever came of it, my life couldn't be returned to me as it was before the diagnosis, and so restitution in a legal or reality-based sense was impossible. I chose to focus on the attainable, which I hoped would prove to be a quality life with family, friends and work colleagues.

LM: Kevin, I found the strongest element of the book to be the blend of cancer journal and love story - and particularly, I was impressed because the language of love was most often provided by the husband. Jody joked during our introductions that you were a "Stepford husband." What do you think she meant by that?

Kevin: Oftentimes, only my wife knows what she means. It's part of her unique charm.

LM: I took it to mean that you're too good to be true in Duringà

Kevin (laughs): Are you referring to the section where I privately whine about the new responsibilities of being a step-father, or complain about my new son's typical teenage insolence, or say that I don't want to give my mother-in-law shots in her stomach?

LM: I read all those things, and more, but you nonetheless are going to become a model for husband everywhere after this books takes off -- which I believe it will very soon. There's also the part about you shopping for her breast form and watching her dance in the snow with the dog. It's very, very moving in your own words.

Kevin: The truth is, people don't expect a man to say he's in love with his wife, or to find her bald head sexy, or to be intimate with a woman who just had a mastectomy. But Jody is my best friend and I deeply love her. Love is a verb to me, and expressing that to her everyday is part of my 'language.' If you were married to her, you'd understand my devotion to this extremely talented and beautiful woman. It isn't me. It's her.

LM: Said in true Kevin voice! Let's go to Jody for a minute. Jody, besides Kevin's story, what makes During different from all other cancer journals on the shelves?

Jody: During really isn't a cancer journal. I think the book is more aptly described as a husband/wife accounting of a family in crisis. It's written in novel form and tells the story of a couple trying to cope with the tremendous stress of a potentially terminal diagnosis and the realities of medical misdirection and an aggressive cancer treatment. At the same time, the couple is actively working to retain their faith base and to be positive for the young adult children in the family. During is the repository of all those hopes and fears. Also, we purposely wrote about topics that other authors often leave unexplored - both from the husband and wife's perspective - including reactions to mastectomy scars, changes in attitude toward money, the challenges of physical and emotional intimacy, husband-and-wife miscommunication, side effects such as cognitive impairment, private moments of grieving, thoughts of suicideà.Yet I think we balanced the negatives with laughter, wit, and Kevin's love story. I still cry when I read his sections.

LM: Kevin, in the book, you are very open about your physical desire for your wife during treatment. But at the time, the two of you weren't able to get on the same wavelength or openly talk about it. Reading it, I wanted to tap you both on the shoulder and say, "Hey, why don't you tell her or him how you are thinking?" How is it that you can so clearly say to readers what you couldn't express to your best friend?

Kevin: I think that some discussions feel too threatening to broach at a time of crisis. I really found that keeping things to myself was a natural reaction to the significant stress we were under. I believed it was my responsibilities to make things right for my wife - a woman I'd known for just a year -- and the signal I was getting was, "Don't touch." I either missed - or she couldn't say -- the 'I still find you desirable' piece and so I assumed that she did not at the time. I never really got that message until Jody shared her diary with me later. The reason that I agreed to co-write During was so that other men might read what happened to us, and avoid it in their own relationships.

LM: Jody, you write about your mother's concurrent diagnosis. The timing of the situation - you both learning that you each had cancer on the same day - how did that impact your own treatment?

Jody: I found that I could accept my own diagnosis easier than I could my mother's diagnosis with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Hers was considered the more difficult to manage, but mine was considered more deadly, which put in the position of trying to help her keep her spirits up, and also to help prepare her for the possibility of losing a daughter. Meanwhile, she would call me from Denver and ask me to make a judgment call in regard to her treatment, which I would then run past my own oncologist. Her illness and multiple hospitalizations were very demanding and dispiriting, to say the least. And yet, we walked the journey together and drew strength from each other, too. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it all yet today.

LM: The reviewer Marie Bach, who read During for bookreview.com, said that she had put down the book days before, but the story stayed with her and she felt changed. I've experienced a little of that myself. I mean, I finished the book a week ago, but at odd times throughout the days since, I keep going back to different sections and I keep hearing you two talking in my head because the dialogue was so intimate. I have to ask - did one of you help the other one write their section?

Kevin: That's kind of you to say à that first part, anyway. And I understand why you think my wife would have helped me, but actually, we both wrote our own stories. Jody's was written during treatment, in her journal and in weekly emails to her friends and others who asked to be put on her mailing list. She soon was writing to over 200 people a week and I'd read those entries along with everybody else. The diary was kept private until she was ready to write the book. Along the way, I made a few notes of my own, but I kept them to myself until she asked me to share my own perceptions. But then Jody edited the book and took away any parts that overlapped, and she made sure the story moved along so we didn't get bogged down. She's the professional writer. I just wrote what was in my head and my heart as we struggled to get through treatment.

LM: Jody, if you could talk directly to your reader today, what would you tell them is the single most important thing that a cancer patient should learn from your sharing of thoughts (as well as actions) in During?

Jody: Hopefully, it is most comforting to know that you are not alone in your experience of cancer treatment. You will have a unique physical experience, as your body responds to the surgery, chemotherapy, and/or radiation. But your emotional and rational thoughts (and irrational thoughts) have been felt by others and will continue to be issues for other cancer patients. You are not "weird" to wonder if people are poisoning you, or to stop caring about money, or to renew old relationships, or to develop a new relationship with God. Or perhaps to walk away for awhile.

Kevin: And representing the person who loves a cancer patient, I'd like to add that cancer isolates everyone in the family. Everyone is affected, and everyone typically tries to deny it to appear strong for the cancer patient. The cancer patient tries to remain optimistic to help family and friends cope. But beneath that exterior, roles are changing, expectations are changing, values are becoming more and more crystallized, and there seems to be an existence in two parallel universes - one where everything is out of kilter, and the other, where everything external to the family continues on a day-to-day normal routine. It's important to know that you aren't alone in that Twilight Zone place.

LM: I think During addresses both of those points, and more. Congratulations on a singularly outstanding book that already has earned endorsements from directors of Gilda's Club, the Ronald McDonald House, the Breast Cancer Research Foundation and more. I predict During soon will be as popular with readers of fiction as it already is proving to be with the cancer community. And I certainly look forward to reading After when it is published later this year.

Biography:

Jody Glynn Patrick is publisher of In Business magazine, which, she jokes, makes good use of both her writing talent and her crisis counseling training.

Before moving to Madison, Wisconsin, Jody won the highest achievement award given by the American Newspaper Association for a column published in more than 20 newspapers in the Milwaukee-Chicago marketplace. She has earned numerous awards for in-depth news and special features, and she has also written the guidebooks, ôCrisis Training for Hotline Interventionö and ôCoping: A Death in the Family.ö Her other works have been published in Guideposts magazine and Elements Literary Magazine.

A crisis counselor as well as author, Jody has served as Director of Western Illinois UniversityÆs Hotline Crisis Center, and as Manager of the Chicago Ronald McDonald House. While a crisis interventionist for the Cudahy, Wisconsin Police Department, JodyÆs work was highlighted on a ôPositively Milwaukeeö television broadcast. She was nominated for the Jefferson Award and the national JC Penney community service award for her work with community crisis situations. Other jobs include Director of the Cudahy/St. Francis Interfaith Program for the Elderly, and Supervisor of the Jefferson County (Colorado) Human Services Child Protection Intake Unit. After moving to Madison, she has continued to be a spokesperson for many community organizations.

Co-author Kevin Patrick left his hometown of Louisville, Kentucky to join the United States Navy. He had various assignments -- ranging from surgical technician to career counselor -- during 23 years of active service. Kevin lived in cities across America, as well as in Japan, Turkey, and Guam. He also served a stint at the National Security Agency as a Russian crypto-linguist before retiring at the rank Senior Chief Petty Officer.

After leaving the Navy, Kevin was as a human resources manager for two international companies. Now he is a sales training coach for Apex Performance Systems in Madison, Wisconsin.

KevinÆs volunteer experience has been as varied as his work history. He has been ôSanta Pawsö for the Humane Society, a statistician for the Ronald McDonald House, and a bell-ringer for the Salvation Army. He enjoys his many church activities and entertaining others with voice impersonations and character roles.
Books: During